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Here Comes Hurricane Season

Here comes hurricane season
everybody getting scared
worrying about the nimbus and cumulus
clouds gathering up there
National Hurricane Center
released the latest set of names
that will be used to designate
this year's hurricanes

Now me, I've got a problem
the names aren't scary enough
hurricanes should not sound friendly
hurricanes should sound tough
Hurricane Floyd scared no one away
makes me think of Andy Griffth, even to this day
so throw out that silly list
of boring names won't be missed:

For the letter A Hurricane Aggravatia
B Hurricane Bloodeen
Hurricane Catastrofifi
Damnatia -- sounds powerful and mean
Hurricane Explosia
Frighteneesha - ooooo
Hallatochia -- that sounds disgusting too

I is for Hurricane Insania
Hurricane Judy Judy
Hurricane KaBoomBoom
Hurricane Lawsuitia/jury duty

M Hurricane Malevolencia
N  Hurricane Nastique
O Oucha  P Palimonia  Q Quagmyra  R Rambunctia  Hurricane Shriek

Hurricane Tuberculosha
Hurricane Undertowanda makes me nervous
Hurricane Vometrina
Hurricane Wrathleen  -  they'd shake up the weather service

Hurricane Xenaprincesswarrior, no, too nice
Hurricane Xenophobette
Hurricane Yikes!  Hurricane Zombulimia!

heed my warning  I'm not done yet

Hurricanes are mean
hurricanes are scary
don't call them Dean
don't call them Larry
Don't name them Tanya
Don't name them Bill
Hurricanes can wound ya
hurricanes'll kill

here's some facts easy to remember
Hurricane season starts June 1
ends 30th of November
but now they can hit any time of the year
thanks to global heating we are always in fear

Hurricanes are scary hurricanes are mean
need names like Pugnacia
names like Agoneen
names like Cadavra
names like Deathretta
chances are good you'll never forget a
Hurricane with a name like that
when it knocks your entire neighborhood flat
by the way a hurricane and a typhoon
are the same damn storm
form over oceans when the water is warm

And I think they should go back to naming Hurricanes only after women
but not after men -- think about it
from space a hurricane is soft and swirly
like a ballerina, all graceful and girly

Tornadoes, on the other hand
are tall and strong and shaped like a man
but they never hold that shape all that long
I say name tornadoes after men -- is that so wrong?

© Christine Lavin Music (ASCAP) administered by Bug Music