Christine Lavin

The editor of Reader's Digest  
had too much free time one day
we've published a million articles
but I fear we're running out of cogent things to say
oh he had a troubled sleep
tossed and turned fretting 'what should we write'
when he woke up he said Eureka!
let's find out in which city the citiziens are the most polite

from Thailand to Finland from Australia to Spain
they tested 35 different countries --
tested in the sunshine tested in the rain
no it was not scientific -- but when the task was done
no one could believe which city coul day
"when it comes to politeness . . . we're #1"

New York we are the most polite
New York we always do what's right
New Yorkers are helpful and don't swear

Paris came in 15th place
tied with London and Lisbon what a disgrace
when it comes to  manners Parisians just don't care
that's why nyc kicked paris in the you know where
I could have said something rude
that wouldn't be right
I'm a New Yorker
I"m polite

in New York
our panhandlers say thank you
our robbers say please
before they snap your mug shot
they ask nicely to say cheese
hookers always apologize when they give you a disease
they're so damn polite here
that's why I love livin right here

Subway conductors give clear information
cabdrivers give correct change
cops only give you a warning
when you walk around naked and deranged
New Yorkers love you all the more
when you are weird looking and strange
it's not like in Bucharest or Moobai
they're not polite like us
so to them I say boom-bye

Nueve York
we are the most polite
we are black and brown and beige and white
we know how to compromise and share
Paris came in 15th place
tied with London and Libson
what a disgrace
when it comes to manners Parisians do not care
and they like to head-butt Italians but let's not go there
enjoy this moment while you can
it really is quite rare
when New York City kicks Paris
even Julia Child up in heaven is embarrassed
'cause New York City kicked Paris in the . . .
pardon em moi . . .
derriere