Christine Lavin

I was never the kind of musician

who ever sung the blues

I’m too full up with optimism

I find it hard to watch the news

but if you know anything about music

you recognize the blues progression that I play

yes I’m singing the blues for the first time in my life

because of what happened to me the other day

I was lookin’ in the mirror

mirror was lookin’ back at me

then the woman in the mirror said

here’s a dose of reality

then she mumbled something

I said “Can you repeat what you just said?”

she rolled her eyes she grimaced laughed

and then slowly shook her head

The next day the same thing happened

I was talkin’ to my reflection

she was mumblin’ back — I thought

is this some kind of trick of natural selection?

I tell her speak up — out with it —

unless you want to play charades?

when the woman in the mirror leans in and says

“You need hearing aids”

I said WUT?

she says “You need hearing aids”

I said, “What you talkin’ about mirror woman?”

I admit I was dismayed

I told her I had my hearing tested

she said, “Yeah, five years ago

did they tell your hearing was normal then?”

I couldn’t lie I said no

She asked

“did you have your hearing tested again after that?”

again I couldn’t lie

four years ago I knew my ears were in trouble

but how much trouble — hard to quantify

she said, “Six months ago you got tested again

and the news?” it was worse

she said, “you gotta do whacha gotta do

stop livin’ in a fool’s universe”

Now when I talk to the woman in the mirror

I hear every word

it took me five years to get to this point

I know that sounds absurd

but if you find yourself saying “Wut?”

over and over again

get your hearing tested

you’re missing out on too much life, my friend

Oh I was never the kind of musician

who ever sung the blues

I’m too full up with optimism

still find it hard to watch the news

but if you know anything about music

you recognize this is a blues progression that I play

but I no longer sing the blues

’cause I hear everything . . .

every little thing . . .

you talk behind my back

m@xh#a f%ck&r

I will hear you

I hear everything going on today

(Yowza — listen to me scat sing very badly)

Dr Joe Montano:

You’re not a very good blues singer!

Me: I heard that!

Christine Lavin: vocal and guitar

Brian Bauers: harmonies

Steve Doyle: bass

Daniel Glass: percussion

Dr. Joe Montano: audiologist/blues critic