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I do not want a baby

I do not want one now

And probably not ever

Yes I am well aware that time is running out

Time is running out

I feel it everyday

I do not want a baby

To get in the way

I do not want a baby

I do not feel the need

Just because I have a womb

Do not assume that I’ve been bred to breed

I do not feel the need

I do not want that role

I do not need a baby to make me whole

I do not look with envy at the freshly painted

nurserys of my peers

Putting it all on hold . . . for the next X years

Their sleepless nights, the bags under their eyes

their baby brains . . . and their mundane lives

and all the rest I see

A helpless perfect, darlng newborn baby on my breast

is not for me . . . it’s not for me . . .

And I will not feel guilty and I will not regret

When I am an old lady with no family I will not be upset

I will not be upset I will not change my mind

I’ll never have a baby and really that’s fine

Time is running out, that’s how it’s meant to be

I do not want a baby

Unless maybe . . .

a baby . . . wants me.


written by Daniel Cainer

DANIEL CAINER is a multi-ward-winning songwriter, storyteller, performer, and broadcaster based in London. He tours his ever-evolving, one-person-show of unique stories-in-song around the world in theatres (including five off-Broadway runs), cabaret venues, temples and anywhere else that will have him. He has written many soundtracks for TV film and radio and featured on all major UK networks. As a session musician and music producer he has worked at Abbey Road and many other major studios. He also writes and performs topical songs and has been a regular on BBC and independent radio. His shows are a highlight of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival where he has performed every year since 2005.