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When you’re the new father of a daughter

Everything seems perfect at the start

Her sweet little face, every coo and every sigh

Well, it just warms your little heart

And now my baby girl is getting older

Now she’s grown into her teens

And all her words and actions make it very, very clear

What being a man called “Father” truly means

It means torture


Teenage daughter torture

When I was young I vowed to understand rebellion

And how it felt when I was living in their shoes

But questioning authority’s not quite as cool a plan

When the Man to whom they’re sticking it… is you

In my teens there was no Instagram or Facebook

The telephone was all we really had

So imagine my surprise when I grounded her one night

And then I saw her status update, “Fuck you, Dad”

It’s Torture - - Torture

Teenage daughter torture

At the end of this tunnel, they say that there’s a light

That’s what parents tell me who have been there

But when that tunnel’s light is in your sight

The one thing you know for sure -

you’re still in there

For my folks, I’m sure I was quite a handful

But with less door-slamming, screaming, and tears

Take away a teenager’s phone

It’s like you killed them, how they moan

I’ve some serious nerve damage in my ears

But the truth is I just want her to be happy

And not to mess up quite as much as her old man

One day when it’s all in the past

We’ll look back on this and laugh

But till then I’m gonna do my damndest

To just withstand –


Torture - - torture

Teenage daughter torture

Torture - - torture

I’d rather have my fingers cracked

Or be stretched upon the rack

Bamboo splinters in my nails

Thrown in a pit of rats and snails

I can take being drawn and quartered

Driven mad by dripping water

But not this

Teenage daughter torture



written by Gary Stockdale

GARY STOCKDALE is a 2-time Emmy-nominated composer, songwriter and singer who composed music for many TV shows and films, including Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Penn & Teller: Bullshit, Spongebob Squarepants, and The Aristocrats (not to be confused with the AristoCATS – this is the one about the world’s dirtiest joke told by the world’s funniest comedians). He was also the composer and Musical Director for the Emmy-nominated Penn & Teller’s Sin City Spectacular, one of the last true TV variety shows.

His singing can be heard on The Prince of Egypt, Star Wars: Rogue One, Star Trek: Beyond, The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, The Simpsons, & Family Guy. He has sung with Justin Timberlake, Adele, Aaron Neville, Neil Young, David Crosby & Johnny Mathis, and backed up Mary J. Blige on the 2018 Oscars. Gary was also the original keyboardist in the Brian Setzer Orchestra.

Gary’s latest record, Keep Letting Go was released in 2018. Gary does a weekly streaming music show called Safe @Home on Facebook Live every Tuesday at 5:30pm (PT) After working with Gary, award-winning songwriters Barry Mann & Cynthia Weill (You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’, Somewhere Out There) called Gary “…one of the greatest singers on the planet.”