Christine Lavin

(Recorded live at The House Of Musical Traditions in Takoma Park, Maryland, written by British songwriters Sarah Louise Young & Michael Roulston.)

Please don't hand me your baby

It's great that you love him so much

Don't make me explain

Why it causes me pain

Please, don't make me touch him

Please don't hand me your baby

I know that you’re trying to be nice

I can see he's awake

But it makes my heart ache

Please, don’t ask me twice cause

Your baby is ugly

Your baby is ugly

I hardly know where to begin

Your baby is ugly

Your baby is ugly

Your baby is ugly as sin

Please don't hand me your darling

I promise I wont come around

He's your little prince

But his smile makes me wince

When he gurgles that inhuman sound

Please don't hand me your loved one

I beg you don’t me make use force

He's stolen your youth

And to tell you the truth

I see why you filed for divorce cause

Your baby is ugly

Your baby is ugly

He’s covered in strange baby skin

Your baby is ugly

Your baby is ugly

Your baby is ugly as sin

No I am not in denial

I don't look at you thru green eyes

There's no need to stand me on trial

Just cause something inside of me dies

When-I-see-your-weird-baby . . .

Please don't hand me your cutie

The hope for the whole human race

The smell of his bum

Is beginning to hum

But at least it distracts from his face, oh

Please don't hand me your precious

I don't mean to sound so unkind

He’s covered in snot

Put him back in his cot

You’re driving me out of my mind

Wait…was that a smile? For me? Oh

Your baby is ugly Your baby is ugly

What’s that strange growth on its chin?

(spoken: it's his face)

Your baby is ugly Your baby is ugly

Ugly, bugly, mugly, fugly

Oh happy day he’s got a twin!

Alternate last line:

Thank your lucky stars he’s not a twin!

CL: vocal/guitar Steve Doyle: bass

Brian Bauers: vocals, guitar, piano

Tunecode: 128372EM and the ISWC:

T-910.788.460-6

Sarah-Louise Young: CAE#: 650205780

Michael Roulston CAE#: 599505596