What Was I Thinking (1993-2007)?

from I DONT MAKE THIS STUFF UP . . . I JUST MAKE IT RHYME

What Was I Thinking? (1993-2007)

It was a last minute invitation
I did not have a thing to wear
I ran into the store and said 'I need something black
something formal
other than that . . . I don't care'
I made it to the theater as the lights dimmed
the first act was brilliantly fun
when I caught my reflection during intermission
I thought . . . what have I done?

  What was I thinking?
             what was I, blind?
             when I bought this outfit
             I must have been temporarily out of my mind
             What was I thinking?
              just look at this dress
              my endorphins are sinking
              my life is a mess

Oh her name is Jennifer Wilbanks
supposed to get married on a Saturday
but the poor girl got what we call 'cold feet'
so the bride-to-be ran away
from Georgia to Las Vegas to Albuquerque
she pretended she was kidnapped
she called 911 and then
stopped her runnin'
as her whole story turned into crap

What was she thinking?
her poor fiancé
never expected such drama
on his wedding day
what was she thinking?
14 bridesmaids?  that's a clue
I hope that poor guy thinks twice
before he finally says "I do"

           OOOH, OOOH  OOOH
Ach! du liber!
    OOOH OOOH OOOH
Ah!  Wat da tien na!
   OOOH   OOOH   OOOH
Oh, muy boja!
   OOOH   OOOH   OOOOH
Que lastima, La Vie, au revoir!

FIRST ENDING:

Oh his name is Dan Rather
ex-anchorman at CBS
he thought he could prove Bush was a scoundrel
instead he just made a big mess
with a copy of a copy of a copy
of a copy of a copy of a fax
it got Republicans all smiley
like their flack Bill O'Reilly
'cause all of this distracts from Iraq

What was he thinking?
hasn't he learned?
you mess with the Bushes
your tush is bound to get burned
what was he thinking?
Is this the worst of all fears?
How do you feel about his four more years?


SECOND ENDING:

Oh his name is Prince Harry
third in line for the British throne
he got invited to a swell costume party
they said 'bring your brother, Wills,
don't come alone'
Prince William dressed like a big giant kitty
Prince Harry said, 'hmmm . . . what shall I be?
Batman? . . . No . . . Superman? . . . No . . .
I know!  I'll go as a Nazi!'

What was he thinking?
a Gestapo uniform?
Oh the young British heirs
so adorable yet so uninformed
what was he thinking?
what is he, nuts?
I'm having a come as you are party, Harry,
come as you are, a putz!

THIRD ENDING:

Oh my name is Harry Wittington
this here is my gun
I came to Texas to shoot quail
never imagined I resembled one
the last thing I remember
was this crazy look in Dick Cheney's eyes
I screamed 'you old coot, don't shooot, don't shoot!'
but much to my surprise

BLAM!

What were you thinking?
you didn't see me here?
I don't believe at lunch you only had one beer
what were you thinking
how can you be this dumb?
is it because this is as close to combat
as you've personally come?

•--------------------------------

FYI -- for ALL the verses ever written for this song click here

© Christine Lavin CL2 (ASCAP)

updated: 8 years ago