Smokers

from Happydance Of The Xenophobe

It's 3 degrees Fahrenheit
the snow is falling down
people are huddled in doorways
all over this town
stamping their feet to keep warm
blowing on their hands
it's sad to see this misery
in such a wealthy land
thee land
in such a wealthy land

Some speak English, some speak French,
some Spanish and Japanese (origato!)
they have more in common
than a shiverin' in their knees
all of them are slave to
the demon cigarette
this song is about people who smoke
if you haven't figured that out yet

Smokers are the new street people
you see where'er you go
coughing hacking lighting up
in the wind, in the rain, in the snow
in the fog, in the hail, in the dust and the heat
dirtying our city streets
cigarette smokers have become
the uptown equivalent of the Bowery Bum

bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum

SPOKEN:  
Now I can hear you smokers getting mad at me
but come on!
we've tried everything to get you to quit
we've begged we've pleaded
we've read you grusome statistics
and still you smoke!
Now we're trying a new tactic:
embarrassing you into quitting
think of this song as tough love
TOUGH LOVE!

It's only a matter of time before
street vendors get wise
it's hard enough selling hot dogs
now this smoke gets in their eyes (smoke gets in their eyes)
and in their hair and in their lungs
in their buns in their hot dog meat
they'll ask the city to pass a law
to ban smoking on the street
the street
no smoking on the street

If they can't smoke on the street
or in the buildings up above
where will smokers go  
to partake of what they love?
Restaurants?  No.  Bars?   Uh-huh.
Taxicabs?  No way.
Smokers are the most oppressed
minority today

Smokers are the new street people
you see where'er you go
coughing hacking lighting up
in the wind, in the rain, in the snow
in the fog, in the hail, in the dust and the heat
dirtying our city streets
cigarette smokers have become
the uptown equivalent of the Bowery Bum

bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
(Joel the bum bum part repeats under the next verse - but if that's too complicated don't mention that)

So if you see a smoker on the sidewalk
pity her pity him
their bad habit's forced them to be
on the outside looking in
all the willpower and nicotine patches
haven't helped a bit
in summer they wheeze
in winter they freeze
and still they just don't quit
don't quit
and still they just don't quit

Years ago I saw a bumper sticker
I still recall today -- it said:
"Kissing a smoker is just like
licking a dirty ashtray"
if that doesn't make you think twice about
how smoking offends
go lick a dirty ashtray and tell me
would you want to do that again?  No
again -- Yuck!
would you ever do that again?  Uh-uh

Smokers are the new street people
you see where'er you go
coughing hacking lighting up
in the wind, in the rain, in the snow
in the fog, in the hail, in the dust and the heat
dirtying our city streets
cigarette smokers have become
the uptown equivalent of the Bowery Bum

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Tough love!
(Cough)

© Christine Lavin Music (ASCAP) administered by Bug

updated: 8 years ago