The Most Polite City In The World

from Happydance Of The Xenophobe

The editor of Reader's Digest
had too much free time one day
we've published a million articles
but I fear we're running out of cogent things to say
oh he had a troubled sleep
he tossed and turned fretting 'what should I write'
when he woke up he said - Eureka!
let's find out in which city the citizens are most polite

from Thailand to Finland from Australia to Spain
they tested 35 countries -- in the sunshine and the rain
it was not scientific -- but when the testing was done
no one could believe the city voted #1

New York we are the most polite
New York we always do what's right
New Yorkers are helpful and we care

Paris came in 15th place
tied with London and Lisbon what a disgrace
about manners people in Paris just don't care
that's why nyc kicked paris in the you know where
I could have said something rude
that wouldn't be right
I'm a New Yorker
we are polite

in New York
our panhandlers say thank you
our robbers say please
before they snap your mug shot
they ask nicely to say cheese
landlords always say 'it's no problem!'
when you wake em up when you can't find your keys
they're so damn polite here
that's why I love livin right here

Subway conductors give you a smile
cabdrivers give correct change
cops only give you a warning
when you walk around naked and deranged
New Yorkers love you more
when you are weird looking and strange
it's not like in Bucharest or Moobai
they're not polite like us
so to them I say boom-bye

Nueva York!
we are the most polite
we are black and brown and beige and white
we know how to compromise and share
Paris came in 15th place
tied with London and Libson
what a disgrace
about manners Parisians do not care
they like to head-butt Italians but let's not go there
enjoy this moment while you can
it really is quite rare
when New York City kicks Paris
even Jerry Lewis is embarrassed
'cause New York City kicked Paris in the . . .
pardon em moi . . .
derriere

2007 Christine Lavin

updated: 10 years ago