Good Thing SHE Can't Read My Mind:  A Dude's Eye View

from COLD PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST

                       

A dude's-eye view
                 
                   I am at a shopping mall
                   I do not like shopping malls
                   but she loves shopping malls
                   and I love her
                   each time she stops to look at shoes
                   I'm reacquainted with the blues
                   by the groans I hear
                   there are men here
                   who I think concur
                 
                   I wanted to stay home today
                   to watch the Green Bay Packers play
                   a monumental pigskin contest
                   of the manly kind
                   instead I'm at a shopping mall
                   I can't stand shopping malls
                   it's a good thing she can't read my mind
                 
                   Sure I'll hold your purse while you try that on
                   No, I don't think it makes you look f . . .
                 
                   I am at a craft fair
                   I do not like craft fairs
                   but she loves craft fairs
                   and I love her
                   there's topiary, origami
                   face painting, scrapbooking
                   and her favorite . . .
                   dreamcatchers!
  what the hell's a dreamcatcher?
                   what the hell is decoupage?
                   rug hooking?
                   now that's something I might get behind
                   I can't stand craft fairs
                   I am at a craft fair
                   it's a good thing she can't read my mind
                 
                   Learn to make my own soap?
                   how did you know that's been my dream?
                 
                   I am not complaining I'm just making observations
                   expanding your horizons is a sign of sophistication
                   I'm in a tai chi class every Sunday morning
                   though sometimes thoughts of boxing
                   overcome me without warning
                 
                   I am at a chick flick
                   I do not like chick flicks
                   but she loves chick flicks
                   and I love her
                   Uh-oh it's a double bill
                   now I'm really feeling ill
                   it's "Beaches" followed by "The Way We Were"
                 
                   now I'm in an awful mood
                   plus I'm eating awful food
                   when all I wanted was to kick back and unwind
                   I can't stand chick flicks
                   I'm gonna watch TWO chick flicks
                   it's a good thing she can't read my mind
                 
                   Tomorrow night is "Fried Green Tomatoes" and "Terms Of Endearment"?
                   oh . . . pinch me . . .
                 
                   So if you see me at a chick flick
                   see me in a craft booth
                   see me at a shopping mall wallowing in despair
                   don't feel sorry for me
                   I must be in love
                   why in the hell else would I be there?
                 
                   Before I met her life was dull
                   I never took any chances
                   now I leap at every opportunity I find
                   I do not like chick flicks
                   I don't like craft fairs can't stand shopping
                   but maybe I will in time
                   maybe I will in time

                   join your book club?
                   Oh sure, I'd love to . . .


                 

                       

Credits:

Christine Lavin:  guitar and vocal, live at The Ark in Ann Arbor, Michigan

© CL2 (ASCAP)

updated: 7 years ago