Prince Charles

from Beau Woes and Other Problems of Modern Life

Prince Charles
Words and Music by Christine Lavin
Copyright 1987 Blendingwell Music (ASCAP)

Please Note:
This song was originally written in 1981 in anticipation of the
wedding of Prince Charles to Lady Diana Spencer. Regarding what's
unfolded in the years since and the untimely death of the Princess,
Christine no longer performs the song. And it was excluded from the
reissue of "Absolutely Live" on CD in January 2000. However, for
historical accuracy, the lyrics are reprinted here, with all due
respect to the late Princess of Wales.

I never really knew him
But I was hoping that we might meet
I knew I'd find him very witty
I hoped he'd find me sweet
But somebody beat me to him
Ruined all my plans
Some little conniving wench
Went and stole my man
Oh Charles
Prince Charles
Can you hear my heart break
Can you hear me
Telling you
Marrying her is a big mistake
Oh Charles
My Charles
When you proposed she was just nineteen
Hey don't you think that's a little young to be making her
England's future Queen?
Huh?

Oh yes, I know, she's pretty (eh)
Yes, I know, she's rich (big deal)
But I read in the National Enquirer
Lady Diana is a... witch
I was very shocked to read
But hey, It must be true
'Cuz there hasn't been anything on 60 Minutes
About her wanting to sue

Oh Charles
My Charles
You have made such a bad mistake
In the bosom's of girls all over the world
Hearts keep going Break Break Break
Oh Charles
My Charles
She's not even Twenty-four years old yet
And think of all the eligible women in the world
That you still haven't met

(English majestic chants)

Oh maybe, you got panicky
Thinking you were losing your looks
Well confidentially Chuck
You got no looks to lose
Or maybe you are the kind of cad
Who likes to drive us women mad
Knowing now we all have the
I'm-never-gonna-get-to-be-the-future-Queen-of-England-blues

Charles!
Prince Charles
Do you have a last name?
I was gonna ask you that on our first date
Forget it! Things have changed

Oh Charles
My Charles
Any girl looks good when she's nineteen
But think about her thirty years from now
When she's an old and ugly queen.

Oooh - Take a look at your mother boy
And you'll know what I mean.

updated: 10 years ago